"What purpose then does the law serve? It was added because of transgressions, till the Seed should come to whom the promise was made; and it was appointed through angels by the hand of a mediator."
I like this scripture, from the New King James Bible, for its name of Christ as "the Seed," which I'd never noticed before yesterday. How appropriate to call Jesus a seed, within which is infinite possibility and perfect planning, if only it would be planted and nurtured as it was meant to be. It represents past, present and future, as does Christ, Who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Within a seed there is hope for what will be, its present state, which sustains in forms such as the sunflower when consumed, and its link to the beginning of all things, the first of its kind.
I also like it for its explanation of why the law was important; a holding place for our sin, until Christ would come and set us free. Notice that angels are involved and the mediator is kind of up for grabs as to who that is, but it is definitely a legal term and brings to mind thoughts of a heavenly court system.
As a Christian who constantly struggles with receiving the free gift of grace on a daily basis, this clarity of why the law was there in the first place, and the logic that follows it, being that it's no longer the basis for one's relationship to God because of Christ fulfilling it, frees me in a renewal of my mind that is embarrassingly long overdue. I love feeling right; I enjoy seeing results that give me reason to brag; I like putting others in their place. I would have made a great Pharisee, and I love the fact that Paul was the great example of a forgiven smarty pants, of which club I am a member in good standing. Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!
So why am I terrified today? After a well-thought out and prayerful move to take our boys out of the two-day per week school they are a part of, I am doubting every good reason that we made this decision. A background of our school history: private preschool, public Kindergarten for oldest son, lasting 3 weeks 'cause it was so gol-blamed awful; homeschool combined with preschool for younger son, till 2nd half of older son's 3rd grade year, when we decided to let him try full time private school; he decided it was too much so we tried two-day per week support school for homeschoolers, while still homeschooling my younger son; younger son entered the 2day school at 3rd grade, so both were in for 3rd and 5th; decided to take them out for 4th and 6th and focus on a trip to Washington D.C. and Philadelphia instead, a history and citizenship focus for the year; re-entered them in 5th and 7th grade, for the academic challenge of a lifetime, and now are exiting the system for the brave old world of real homeschooling again. Husband and I are in agreement and I am in shock and fear for my sons' education that largely now depends on me. Or God. Or them. Or my husband's support of me. Or something.
The great thing yesterday, after deciding with hubbie and then finding a moment to tell the boys, was how I was given the perfect fable to illustrate our decision--imagine you are on a big trip, you've packed the car with everything you would possibly need, and you discover the main road you were all set to take has major obstacles, traffic, roadwork and damage that you had not noticed before and would do damage to your car if you keep on that road. The choice: Do you continue on that road anyway, because turning back would mean starting over and even having to unload and load the car again after so much careful preparation? Or do you turn around, go home, and start over, planning another way to get to your destination? Thankfully both boys answered the way I wanted them to, and opted for the go home and start over plan. Then my younger son asked why I was asking them this. That was the hard part. My 13-year-old immediately saw the benefits of going back to school at home, but my 11-year-old, social as social can be, was saddened at the prospect of not seeing his school buddies, which is totally understandable, though we are talking two buddies, one of which is new this year. We have many other connections that do not have to be arranged from across town, though I did set the precedent that this was perfectly acceptable and do-able. While certainly the former, not always the latter. The distance of the school has always been an issue; twenty-five minutes or so on freeway, and a total grind when one is sick. Or when there is lunch/recess duty. Or a party.
So fears notwithstanding, here we go. I don't know how I am going to keep the bar set high enough for them to feel challenged, I get easily distracted and discouraged, my support system is scattered and inconsistent, and I feel torn between structure and freedom. Is it any wonder that verse is so on target for me? If I focus on Christ as the Seed, and the answer to my structure problem, then all should fall into place in its time. After all, a seed will grow in its time; you just can't forget to water it.
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